So Far Away
by JHsgf82
Summary: Jun Pyo has returned after four years, and Jan Di is thrilled, but Ji Hoo's emotions are far more convoluted. Ji Hoo deals with his lingering love while striving to be happy for his two best friends. But fearing he will never get over her, Ji Hoo seeks some much-needed distance. After a long absence, Jan Di and Ji Hoo meet again. How will their reunion go? Angst and JanHoo fluff


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Boys over Flowers characters, nor the Song "Far Away" by Nickelback, which this was inspired by.

 ** _Author Note:_** _Anyone want to have a good cry with me? JanHoo fans perhaps? Maybe you'll cry. Maybe not. It's not incredibly sad. Anyway, I meant for it to be emotional, but there's a happy, hopeful tone to it, too, I think. So, anyway, I didn't plan to start another story, but the muse visited, or the plot bunny, as my friend likes to say._

 _Also, a couple readers have asked me for a Jun Pyo/Jan Di fic and have been patiently waiting. At this point, this is the best I can do for them. It's not heavy JanPyo (or whatever we're calling it), but they are together and there's mention of them, even if they aren't the focus, exactly. Maybe someday I'll do a "real" Jan Di/Jun Pyo fic, but for now, I hope this satisfies a teeny bit. To be clear, I do like Jun Pyo and his interactions with Jan Di in the show. They were cute, and even though I love JanHoo more (and felt like they were so good together), I don't have anything against Jun Pyo or Jan Di/Jun Pyo. So, here is my_ ** _attempt_** _at accepting them, haha, but_ ** _it is_** _more focused on Ji Hoo and Jan Di. I'm putting that disclaimer out there, so hopefully, the JanPyo fans are prepared for it and not too angry or disappointed about the heavy JanHoo, haha._

 _I have not given up on my other stories, but I got really inspired for this one, so I cranked it out in a day, lol._

 _The beginning is from Ji Hoo's perspective, and the end is from Jan Di's_

* * *

This short story begins at the end of the show when Jun Pyo returns from America...

 **So Far Away...**

My best friend had returned to South Korea to take his rightful place as the head of Shinwha and reunite with the woman he loved. On that beach, I watched Jan Di's eyes light up, her smile slowly growing and her eyes moistening as he proposed. I was happy for them. I _really was_. Their love was so powerful, and they'd fought long and hard for it. They deserved to be together, and I would never stand in the way of that, never again.

But at the same time, I was in **pain**. Horrific pain.

I didn't understand why I couldn't just get over her... Perhaps it was because I'd been living with this feeling inside for so long that it had become a permanent part of me. But I didn't want to feel this way anymore. I hated feeling this way! I'd known this day was coming for some time now, and I'd mentally prepared myself for it—or so I thought. But somehow, when the moment came I still wasn't ready.

Shoving my hands in my pockets, I walked steadily toward them through the sand. After witnessing Jun Pyo offer Jan Di the ring, I suddenly spoke without thinking, "I object to that proposal!" It just came out of me, immediately alerting them to the presence of myself, Yi Jeong, and Woo Bin—who had also come to witness Jun Pyo's return.

Jun Pyo stood and took Jan Di by the shoulders, and both turned to look at me. I tossed the happy couple my best smile, wondering if either of them knew how badly I wanted to object to their marriage, for real. But I could never, _would_ never do that.

. . .

My brothers joined in at my side, playfully mocking and also objecting to Jun Pyo's proposal. "You can't do that so easily without our permission!" Woo Bin called out to the now grinning couple. And the three of us stood before Jan Di and Jun Pyo, smiling at them.

I met Jun Pyo's eyes briefly, and they sparkled with a pure happiness such that I had never seen in him. Then I looked to Jan Di. She had a similar look of love upon her face as he, and in that moment, I put my jealousy away and enjoyed the happy reunion. Giving Jan Di a last look up and down, I sidled up next to her and took my natural place at her side.

Then we all turned in unison to look out over the ocean. Jan Di was between Jun Pyo and me, with Yi Jeong and Woo Bin on the other side. Standing with the four people closest to me, I stared out across the horizon, watching the sunset. I couldn't help but get swept up in the present moment, but inevitably, I started thinking about the past...

* * *

The past four years with Jan Di were amazing, exhausting, and exhilarating, and they went so fast. Jan Di and I spent a great deal of time together, studying mainly, but also trying to enjoy life as much as we could. She spent the night at my house more often than not—usually because she fell asleep on the couch beside me—or on me—while studying.

I made sure she took time to relax, too. Sometimes I forced it on her, but she usually gave in. We would watch movies, go for rides on my bike, and take long walks together. Through smiles, laughter, and tears, we learned and grew together. It was a beautiful time, the best time of my life. And when Harabeoji passed away, she was really there for me. It was because of _her_ that I didn't fall apart...

* * *

It was only six short months later that the wedding came. I didn't understand the rush; well, maybe I did... Jun Pyo was not exactly the most patient guy...

Jan Di had thought it quick, too, and she'd been stressed over it, but she went along with it, only to get cold feet at the last minute. She turned to me. Of all the situations to be put in... I encouraged her and talked her through her feelings—because I knew she truly loved him and was just afraid.

Jan Di and Jun Pyo's wedding day arrived, and the groom was a wreck. The strange—yet not so strange—thing was that I was, too... I hid it well enough, at least up until Jan Di's entrance. I hadn't seen her yet that day, and when I did, I thought I would burst...

She was so _beautiful_...

Standing there in the entryway of the church in her elegantly understated (just like her) white chiffon and lace gown, she brought tears to my eyes. I quickly blinked them away, not wanting to let the whole room know just how much this moment was affecting me. I glanced to Jun Pyo, who was also mesmerized by his bride, and then I returned my gaze to her. Her eyes were glued on him, too, and she wore a look of pure joy on her lovely face. I had never seen her look happier, in fact.

The string quartet began to play Pachelbel's _Canon in D_ , and everyone stood as Jan Di stepped through the heavy wooden doors. My hands neatly folded in front of me, I stifled my tears once again while keeping a proud smile on my face. And from Jun Pyo's side, I watched as the girl of _our_ dreams made her way down the aisle.

Jan Di looked like an angel, practically floating rather than walking down the aisle. Fixated on her, I mused on how one woman could bewitch me so completely. She simultaneously made my chest swell with admiration and ripped my heart to shreds. But overall, I was happy. I was happy that the two people who meant the most to me in the world were happy. At least, that's what I forced myself to believe.

But would _I_ ever have that? I sullenly wondered.

She made it to the altar, and our eyes met. For those few seconds, my heart raced wildly... But then she took Jun Pyo's outstretched arm, and I was quickly brought back to reality.

I watched the rest of the ceremony in a haze, barely even registering when I was prompted for the ring. After handing off the velvet box, I ever so subtly placed my hand on my chest, right over the spot where my mother's ring rested safely beneath my clothing—the one that I had once offered Jan Di, the one I desperately hoped she would accept but that seemed fated to remain forever around my neck instead.

After the ceremony, Jan Di and Jun Pyo shared their first dance. I watched them closely, mainly Jan Di—her every step, gesture, and facial expression. I knew them all well. I watched her smile shyly up at her new husband in a way she'd never quite looked at me. And when I felt myself welling up again, I had to step outside for a minute. I refused to openly cry in front of everyone. I caught Yi Jeong and Woo Bin's eye as I exited, but I knew they understood and would leave me be.

After composing myself, I returned and approached Jan Di, silently holding out my hand as I did that very first time. She looked up at me, her eyes shimmering with the love and appreciation I knew she had for me. It wasn't the same as the love she felt for Jun Pyo, but I would take it—and treasure it always... And we danced. I held her as close as I dared—in public and in front of her husband—and we shared a few blissful moments together...

* * *

The reality of the situation hit me hardest the very next morning—that along with a bit too much alcohol. Jan Di and Jun Pyo were **married**. Everything was going to be different now, and I wasn't coping with that very well...

It was far too difficult, and I couldn't imagine it getting better anytime soon. So, after a lot of thinking, I decided that I needed some distance from the situation. And the very next day, I left.

I went to Bangladesh to provide medical services as part of the Doctors Without Borders program. Ironically, I couldn't even bring myself to tell Jan Di in person, so I left a note. Just as she'd done with me. I felt like a coward, but I didn't know what else to do. I knew that if I looked into her eyes, I'd never go through with it.

I spent a year there, assisting a local doctor with providing medical care to the poverty-stricken and trying to forget about Jan Di. I didn't attempt that right away, though. At first, I wrote a lot of letters back home, to my friends and mostly to Jan Di. I felt like I had so much to say to her... I started out by apologizing profusely for leaving the way I did, but I didn't tell her the reason for it.

In the beginning, I looked at our pictures from the wedding contest every night. But once I realized how detrimental that was to the moving on process, I started looking at them only sparingly. I kept busy—working, writing songs and reading at night, and eventually, I made a couple friends there. And I thought about Jan Di less. But she was always there in the background of my mind...

* * *

It was spring when I finally returned to Seoul. I arrived at the airport around noon, and as I stepped off the jet bridge and into the building, it felt so familiar, yet somehow, unfamiliar. Even though I'd lived there my whole life, after being away for a year, it was like setting foot in an uncharted world. That was just what it was like coming home after a long absence, I supposed. And I'd felt a bit of that after returning from Paris, but I wasn't away nearly as long. And this was a completely different scenario. Perhaps I was experiencing some reverse-culture shock. But the world around me seemed different somehow, and I felt like a new man...

As I made my way through Gimpo, I took in my environment, thinking the time away had done me good. I proceeded through customs and security and then to baggage claim. As I waited for my cream-colored suitcase on the conveyor belt, I heard the sound of the most beautifully loud voice, excitedly shouting, " **SUNBAE**!"

I didn't even need to look; I knew who it was immediately. Her voice was unmistakable. Besides, who else called me that, really?

I turned around, and there she was...the everlasting object of my affection, the one my mind and heart obstinately refused to let go of...

Standing only a few meters away was the very person I'd been missing for so long, the very person I'd tried to escape but had since learned I never could. I now knew that I could go to the ends of the earth and never be away from her... In fact, after being away, I only realized just how much I needed her. And seeing her again was like FINALLY getting that drink of water after being deprived for days. Only, I'd been deprived of her for much longer... OK, so she wasn't essential to my survival... But then again, maybe she was...

The sight of her gave back something precious but literally took my breath away. Jan Di looked more beautiful than ever. How was that possible? Could it be that absence truly did make the heart grow fonder?

As she came closer, I took her in. She appeared slimmer and her dark hair—pulled back in a ponytail—was longer. She was dressed stylishly, too, in a navy blue and white striped romper and wedge sandals. I assumed Gu Jun Hee had influenced her fashion sense, as it didn't seem like the kind of outfit Jan Di would have chosen.

I noticed that there were tears in her eyes, and then she started running at me...

Fearing she would fall in those shoes, I prepared myself just in case. But I barely had the chance to open up my arms to receive her when she unceremoniously crashed into me. The force was so strong that it knocked me back a little. Bracing myself, I took the hit and welcomed her in. She melted into my arms, and the moment was heavenly...

Ideally, I would have wanted to freshen up first before seeing her and maybe surprise her, but it didn't matter now. This was much better...

As I held her tight, she wrapped her arms snugly around my neck. I felt my hands wander of their own volition from her mid back to her waist, and strangely, I felt the sudden urge to pick her up and swing her around. I don't know why—perhaps I was caught up in the moment—but I did it. I picked her up and gave her a twirl. She giggled like a little girl, and then to my great shock, she wrapped her bare legs around my waist and buried her face in my neck...

Somehow, it didn't feel like two friends meeting one another after being away... Rather, it felt like the type of greeting a wife would give her husband after returning home from the military. But that was just a fantasy, not the reality. Still, I wouldn't trade this moment for all the money in the world...

After I finished spinning her, I held on, and she did, too. There we stood, in the middle of the airport, locked in an unbreakable straddle-hug. I imagined she would realize what was happening, get embarrassed, and let go any second now...

 _Don't let go yet,_ I prayed, hoping that through our practically psychic connection she would understand and keep hanging on.

I was beginning to tire, but I didn't care. It felt so good to hold her again, and I never wanted to let go. I would keep holding on as long as she let me and as long as my strength held out...

Still clinging to my neck, I heard her whisper, "I missed you, Sunbae... I missed you so much..."

Somehow, I couldn't believe those words had come out of her mouth.

"I missed you, too, Jan Di-ah," I whispered back, wishing I could smother her with kisses right now. I supposed the time away hadn't done a thing for getting rid of my feelings...

As I said it, she nestled in further. Tossing disbelief over the situation aside, I just enjoyed it. When had I ever held her like this? Never. When would I ever get the chance to hold her like this again? **Never.**

There would be gatherings with our friends, _maybe_ a few stolen platonic moments between the two of us here and there, if I was lucky, but that was all I could ever hope for. Nothing like this...

So, I would make it last as long as I could...

While holding her, I couldn't help but stroke her hair and run my fingers all the way through the long silky strands of her ponytail. I'd almost forgotten how soft her hair was; it now reached her mid-back. Her scent was the same, a subtle mix of roses and jasmine, intoxicating and breathtaking. Oh, how I'd missed it!

I breathed her in for several more seconds before reluctantly setting her down. Jan Di smoothed out her outfit, and smiling happily, she wiped at her tear-stained face. I dried the remnants of her tears with my thumb and smiled back at her.

An older couple had witnessed our moment, and they greeted us with wide smiles, eagerly wishing us a happy life together. My eyes immediately shot to Jan Di, whose face had turned bright red. Turning back to the older couple, I nodded politely and bowed. It was easier than explaining.

Then I looked back at Jan Di, and we just stared at each other as if we couldn't believe we were in each other's presence now. She was even lovelier than I remembered... I'd been carrying around this perfect mental image of her—that I thought I'd built up in my head because I missed her—but she managed to shatter that. Her beautiful face was thinner and more mature, yet her eyes still held that sweet innocence that I had fallen in love with. And her flushed apple cheeks were not quite as plump but still gently rounded.

I watched Jan Di's eyes crinkle up, but then her face suddenly hardened, and she smacked me on the arm. It wasn't a sweet, playful little smack, either—she hit me hard. She was legitimately angry with me. In fact, her dark eyes were screaming at me right now.

After giving me the coldest look I had ever gotten from her, she shouted out, "How could you stay gone so long?! Don't you ever leave again!" and she smacked my arm once more. Not that I didn't deserve it...

After leaving the way I did and being gone for a full year, I couldn't blame her for getting upset and running so hot and cold on me. I felt extremely guilty about it, too, because knowing my otter as I did, I was sure that she could have used her firefighter at least a couple times during that period.

And I'd needed her, too. God, how many lonely nights had I fallen asleep thinking of her? How often had I wished she was there with me and I was holding her? Even though it could never be the way I wanted, in this moment, I knew it. Without a doubt, I could never part from her again.

 _Am I pathetic?_ I wondered. _Maybe so_. So many times I'd told myself to be a man and just get over it.

But I didn't see that ever happening. It's just who I am; I think I was made to love her. And I would go on loving her—from the proper distance, of course. I would go through it all with her—daily life, career... I would watch her children grow up; I'd support them and be an uncle to them. Through the good times and bad, I would remain by Jan Di's side _forever_.

Returning to the present moment, "I'm sorry, Jan Di-ah," I finally apologized. "I won't."

"You promise?!"

Nodding, I said, "I promise."

She seemed satisfied with that, and my gaze wandered as I had a thought. I'd told the guys that I was returning, but they were all very busy, so I didn't expect them to meet me at the airport. However, I hadn't expected Jan Di to come without her husband. Looking all around, I asked, "Where's...?

She understood what I was getting at. "Jun Pyo couldn't come. He had a meeting," she explained, "but he told me to make sure and invite you to our house for dinner tonight."

 _Their house..._

It still hurt. Why did it still hurt?! On the bright side, it wasn't the gut-wrenching agony it had been before. Now, it was just a hollow pit in my stomach.

"He said it was an order and that you better come or else! I demand it, too," she said, placing her hands on her slender hips. "Oh, and don't worry! I'm not doing the cooking," she laughed.

Keeping a straight-face on, I replied, "I like your cooking." And it wasn't completely untrue. She made some really good food, and even her food that wasn't so good, I still loved—because _she_ made it. _Aish, I'm really hopeless, aren't I?_

"Don't lie, Sunbae," she teased, whacking my still stinging arm.

I chuckled. "No, really. And I wouldn't miss it," I said softly.

The Wonder Girl's resulting smile was radiant. "Good!" she exclaimed, her eyes filled with glee, "because I have so much to tell you!"

I smiled, but then my face turned to stone. "Big news, perhaps? Are you...?"

Getting my meaning, she gave an over-the-top groan, "Ahhh, SUNBAE! As if!" And she shoved me so hard that I nearly fell over.

"Well, it's not such a ridiculous thing to ask, is it?" I pointed out as I regained my balance. Although, I had to admit that, despite how close we were, it was a little bit rude of me.

Blushing, Jan Di responded, "Well, _no_ , but it's NOT that! It's doctor stuff mostly," she explained.

I nodded, feeling a strange sense of relief about that. "Right, sorry. Well, I can't wait to hear about it, Otter."

She grinned and bit her lip at the nickname. "You're coming back to the hospital, aren't you?!"

"Yes, I'd like to, but I've also been thinking about reopening Harabeoji's Clinic."

"Oh, Sunbae!" she squealed. "Yes, we must do that!"

I hadn't missed the ' _we'_ part, and my lip curled upward at that. I knew she would insist upon joining me at the Clinic, and of course, I wanted her to. I had planned on asking her to come along when the time was right, anyway. It wouldn't be the same without her, after all, and Harabeoji would have it no other way...

* * *

I could have strangled Sunbae for taking off like he did, and I'd wanted to at first! Then, he stayed gone for a whole year! It felt like the longest year of my life, so when I saw him again, I didn't keep my emotions in check very well.

But as hard as it was being away from Ji Hoo, I think I grew from it. Maybe that was the lesson he was trying to teach me—that I can't always run to him when things get tough... And it **was** tough. My first year of marriage to Gu Jun Pyo wasn't easy at all. Oh, it wasn't like we weren't happy, but there was just a lot of stress...

The day we got married, I was nervous but so excited. The wedding was thrown together quickly, but it felt like a long time coming. The day ended up being wonderful, and nothing could bring me down from the clouds. Not even Madam Kang interfered. Then, there was our wedding night. I was incredibly nervous; we both were. It was a learning experience for us, and I saw a side of Gu Jun Pyo I'd never seen before that night. I had no idea he could be so shy and tender... It was beautiful.

After our honeymoon, things got more challenging. I was living in a whole other world, attempting to fit in with a completely different crowd. I tried to dress better and act more sophisticated, which didn't always work out. I couldn't count the number of times I fell in heels at a function or muddled my way through an impromptu speech or meeting with some important person. I was trying _so hard_ to be the perfect little Shinwha wife and have a career as a doctor at the same time. That all came with a lot of pressure, but I wanted so badly to make Jun Pyo proud of me, and I wanted to prove to everyone that I wasn't just some screw-up. I knew that my husband accepted and loved me for who I was, but I didn't want everyone else questioning his choice in a wife.

And then I remembered something Ji Hoo said to me a long time ago. _"There is no Jan Di's world and Jun Pyo's world. You come from the same world, just as you and I are of the same world."_

I took that wisdom to heart, and as soon as I did, everything got easier. I realized that I was trying to be someone I was not, and such a thing was destined to fail. But when I started being myself, I noticed that people were accepting me. I smiled and thanked Sunbae aloud, even though he couldn't hear me at the time.

Then came the arguments...

As much as I love Jun Pyo, we have a knack for getting into fights... Many of them are comical and easily diffused, like the time I didn't notice that he changed his hair... In my defense, it looked practically the same, and I had a lot of my mind on that day! I would have eventually noticed, I'm sure... Well, he sulked for a while about it, but then we made up. It was always nice when we made up...

Some of our fights were more serious, though.

The pressure to produce an "heir," which neither of us was ready for caused some tension between us, but it was my career that was the source of most of our fighting. Jun Pyo hated my long, late-night hours as an intern at the hospital, but I tried to explain that it was necessary. He complained that he never got to see me, and I knew he just missed me, even though he didn't use those exact words. I missed him terribly, too, especially since he wasn't home a lot, either. Shinwha kept him very busy, even though he had Secretary Jung and other assistants. So, what could I do? We both had careers that were important to us...

Our biggest fight came when Jun Pyo told me I shouldn't work at all and that he'd just take care of me. We argued about it, and in the heat of the moment, he called my job stupid. That was when I blew up. What did he want, anyway, for me to sit around all day waiting for him to come home and then immediately shower him with attention as soon as he walked in the door?

 _That_ was exactly what he wanted, and I couldn't understand it. I thought that he'd always loved me for who I was, and he knew that I was an independent person. My career was a big part of my identity, too. It was my passion, the thing I was meant to do with my life, yet he wanted me to just give it up? His selfishness and immaturity weren't so cute anymore, and in fact, I was downright sick of it.

In bed _alone_ that night, after Jun Pyo stormed out of the house, I cried myself to sleep. Actually, there were a lot of nights during our first year of marriage that Jun Pyo stormed out or slept in one of the guest rooms while I cried myself to sleep... It was during those times when I really could have used my sunbae, and if he had been around, I probably would have turned to him. But that might not have been the best idea. After all, when you're married you can't just run away from your problems, especially not to some other guy... Even if it is just a friend...

The next day, Jun Pyo humbled himself by apologizing and sending me flowers. It was going to take more than that, though. So, we had a discussion. And after _a lot_ of talking, I finally made him understand how I felt.

Yes, there had been many ups and downs during this past year, but we managed to make it through. I think we're happier than ever now, and that's a huge relief to me. But this whole time, I've felt like there was something missing from my life... Finally, I realized what it was.

As selfish as it might seem, I don't think I could go on without having both Gu Jun Pyo _and_ Yoon Ji Hoo in my life. It seemed strange and wrong to say that I have **two** men in my life, but I did... My husband, the love of my life. And my soulmate.

And now that the latter is back, I'm not sure what's going to happen... All I know is that I'm really glad he's back...

* * *

I was stirred from my reverie by Ji Hoo asking where I'd gone off to. I laughed and explained that I was just thinking about something. By now, he'd taken his luggage off the belt, and he was watching me closely.

"So...," he placed his hands in his pockets and shifted back and forth. I had the feeling he wanted to ask me to do something, and I wanted nothing more than to reconnect with him right now.

Clearing his throat, Ji Hoo began again, "I know you are a very important lady now, so this is probably a silly question, but do you have somewhere else to be?"

I chuckled and waved him off with my hand. "Oh, go on, Sunbae! I have nowhere else to be!"

His smile was so bright that it could have blinded me.

"I was going to ask you the same thing!" I exclaimed overexcited. Toning it down a little, I continued, "I want to spend time with you, Sunbae. It's been way too long, and I want to hear everything about your trip!" I prattled. "So, will you have lunch with me?"

My naughty sunbae paused, pretending to consider this carefully, and then he smiled again—that perfect one of his. "Yes, I'd love to have lunch with you, Jan Di-ah."

I grinned, and he placed his arm around my shoulders while wheeling his suitcase along behind. Inadvertently, I felt myself inch in closer to him. I didn't know if I should do that, but I felt like I needed to be as close to him as possible right now.

I'd just missed him so much while he was gone... I missed him so much that it ached inside, and seeing him again was like sunshine after a long, hard, seemingly unending rain. Life without him just wasn't the same, and I knew that now. I guess you have to feel as though you lost something to truly appreciate its great worth. Not that I didn't appreciate him before, but I knew it more than ever now.

What would I ever do without Yoon Ji Hoo? I hoped I would never have to find out. When I made him promise never to leave again, I meant it. He would always be my special sunbae, and I didn't plan on losing him again. Even if he did someday go, I'd just have to track him down—wherever he was—and drag him back, if necessary...

Comfortably strolling out to his car, I couldn't stop smiling. I was just so happy he was here with me. His arm was snug around my shoulders and my hands were clasped in front of me. At the car, he put his suitcase in the trunk and opened my door for me. We buckled up, and he asked where I wanted to eat. I told him I didn't care. All that mattered to me was the company.

 _You probably don't know, do you Sunbae? How much I love you and always will..._

 *****The End?*****

* * *

 **A/N:** _Thanks for joining me for another one, even though it was short! This was my first one-shot and my first fanfic from First Person POV. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks, and let me know your thoughts._


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